Saturday, November 24, 2007

Douchebag Conservatism

Do you know who this man is? He is one of the primary exponents of what I will hereby deem "DOUCHEBAG CONSERVATISM." Douchebag conservatism is a false brand of conservatism advanced by bleeding heart types in the Republican party such as Sam Brownback, Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee and yes, George W. Bush.

This ideology makes the claim that unconstitutional expansions of the federal government like Medicare, Social Security and the Dept. of Education are somehow "conservative." It somehow has the idea that it's the job of the federal government to do charity work, republican and Constitutional principles be damned. This is all somewhat perplexing for real conservatives.

The whole idea of conservatism melds liberty and limited government with traditionalist ideas. The Goldwater coalition was surely not built on the idea of massive foreign aid to needy third world banana republics and dictatorships, or on having the federal government morphing into Catholic Charities or the United Way, either globally or domestically. As many others have said, if the Republican party starts acting like the Democrats, with ever-growing goodie giveaways (witness the Medicare prescription drug boondoogle Bush has given us) to compete with those proposed by the Dems, the American people will elect the genuine article. But not according to Mr. Gerson, writing in the Post. He thinks the real conservatives are the problem, and we'd better wake up and turn left, or our party will become irrelevant.

No, Mike. Neocons and theocons like yourself are the problem. Stop trying to redefine conservatism and get on the same page as the rest of us, ro stop trying to pass yourself off as such. The answer is to fight the growth of the New Deal welfare state, not just say you can manage it better or try to buy votes with federal largesse. The Constitutional purview of the federal government is to handle national defense, foreign relations, mediate disputes between states, deliver the mail, standardize currency, guarantee liberty, and for the most part otherwise, just sit down and shut up.

1 comment:

TJ said...

While I don't QUITE put GW in that list, by-and-in-large you are right on my brother ... conservatives need to need just that, Conservative.

(aside from my not-regularyly updated blog (, you can also find me at or ... or, if you are into 4wheelin' -